Reactive Attachment Disorder Parenting Help
Serenity Links Coaching provides mentoring and parent coaching for mothers of children who struggle with intense emotional and behavioral problems associated with early childhood trauma and/or prenatal drug and alcohol exposure. These children often look perfectly normal on the surface but have hidden disabilities that prevent them from sustaining appropriate relationships and controlling their emotions and behavior.
Some of the conditions a child might struggle with include:
- Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)
- Disinhibited Social Engagement Disorder (DSED)
- Complex PTSD (CPTSD)
- Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (FASD)
- Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder (DMDD)
- Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
- Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)
Collectively, these conditions are referred to as developmental trauma. Though proposals have been made, “Developmental Trauma Disorder” is not yet an officially recognized or treatable condition. We hope that changes soon! Our kids need it!
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– Wendi Z.
“Before coaching, I was extremely depressed and low. I can now do my work with a clear mind and be reasonably happy. Coaching helped me recognize my worth and why my children and partner react the way they do…and that it has nothing to do with me. I have peace again. I have hope again! It’s worth every penny!”
– Treva C.
“I learned a lot of valuable things and the positive energy you added to my life was awesome. It’s pretty helpful to know what “values” mean and what is important to me to live by and teach my children too. Thank you! I’m so proud of these little tiny kids who have so much courage…Nothing is taken for granted. I love being their mommy and am a little proud of myself for how I have taken parenting to a whole new level. They deserve it.”
Childhood trauma leaves lasting scars
If you’re a parent of a child who suffers from conditions such as RAD, FASD, ODD or other issues related to early childhood trauma, you’re in the right place and I’m glad you are here! Parenting these kids is hard, exhausting work that can easily overwhelm a family (or completely shatter it if we’re not careful!) It can also feel like an incredibly lonely road to walk.
The first thing I want you to know is that you’re not crazy, you’re not a failure, and it likely isn’t your fault your child is struggling just to do life and your family is still living in chaos. No doubt you’ve already tried dozens of different approaches and have done everything you know how to do to try to help your child. The sad truth is that kids who had a rough start in life often carry deep emotional and psychological scars that prevent them from successfully integrating into a family, especially without significant intervention.
Just because they’ve been removed from their previous unsavory circumstances and the bump and bruises from abuse and mistreatment have healed, it doesn’t mean they’re fine. Traumatized children often appear quite normal on the surface and can have an uncanny ability to fly under the radar and appear to blend into many different social situations. However, their internal world tells a very different story.
Through no fault of their own, they experienced significant psychological and emotional injury that changes the way they think, feel, relate to other people, behave, and process information. If their mother used drugs or alcohol while pregnant, they may also have permanent and irreversible brain damage. Even when the trauma a child experienced was “just” abandonment or neglect, it still likely had a profound effect on their psychological, social, and emotional development.
Get the right help for the right person!
There is no question that kids who have experienced significant early childhood trauma need help. In fact, they probably need a lot of it. It also makes perfect sense for a parent to seek help for the struggling child who is causing all the problems.
However, very little of what actually works for our kids is logical.
If there is any one message I wish I could shout from the rooftops when it comes to parenting hurt kids, it would be this: Get the right help for the right person first! That right person isn’t your child. It’s Mom!
It is critical for parents of children and teens who struggle with conditions such as RAD, FASD, ODD, or other intense emotional and behavior problems to have the right support for themselves, the right information, the right parenting tools, and the right skills to meet the needs of their child. It is also imperative that we do things in the right order!
Our special kids need specialized or therapeutic parenting designed to help them decrease fear responses and increase trust in relationships. We’re not dealing with “normal” kids or “normal” situations. What might work for others likely won’t work for us, and in fact, may make things worse.
Special needs parents need specialized support
We parents also need specialized support, skills, and training ourselves in order to give our kids the best chance of healing and becoming successful adults. Unfortunately, very little is known in the outside world about most of these conditions. Good help is also hard to find and may not even be available in all communities, especially smaller and more rural areas.
Unfortunately, most doctors, therapists, social workers and schools have little to no training in complex trauma or the conditions related to it. Nor do they know how to recognize or treat the problems for what they are. Don’t let that discourage you, though. While yes, finding the right helpers is a good thing, the bulk of healing happens at home. As a parent, you are the one who has the most influence on how it all plays out.
Healing begins for everyone in the family when we support and help the parents first! The sooner you help you, the sooner your family can fast track their way to healing and peace!