Help the right person first!
It’s true. They are…even though they are doing the best they can and following everything that logic and conventional wisdom say they should be doing. After all, good moms do everything they possibly can to help their kids, right?
However, when we’re dealing with stuff as complex as Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), Fetal Alcohol Syndrome /Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (FASD), and Complex PTSD and all the stuff our kids can throw at us as a result of these conditions, exhausting ourselves trying to help them (or “fix”) first isn’t the right way to go. In fact, it’s the very thing that keeps so many families stuck and spinning.
These conditions are nothing to trifle with and are bigger than we are. By far, the best place to start the healing journey for everyone in the family is by helping mom first. When she has the tools, skills, training, and support she needs and she does things in the right order, the entire family benefits and heals.
What traumatized kids need most…
Though other helpers are indeed needed, true healing happens when emotionally strong and healthy moms help their children learn to love and trust by building a genuine relationship and connection with them. This isn’t easy to do, even on the good days. It’s nearly impossible if you are burned out or exhausted yourself. After all, none of us can give what we don’t have.
Check out this video to learn why it is so darn important to make MOM the #1 priority, not the kids. Plus, you’ll hear some of my heart and I’m so passionate about this subject!